TORRANCE, Calif. (Feb. 4, 2008)—The world is on high alert today as the eighth letter of the alphabet abandons its post in society to fulfill a higher calling.* From the White House campaign trail to Hollywood and beyond, the missing “h” is altering behavior and changing philosophies. The transformation took hold overnight as the popular letter went missing from key landmarks (including the Hollywood sign), computer keyboards, TV game shows and the alphabet in schools. Presidential hopefuls like Hillary Clinton and Mike Huckabee are said to be huddling with advisors.
Although frequently silent, “h” clearly has enormous power. Its disappearance has created a hubbub in cities from Houston to Honolulu. Heavy turnout is expected today at an “h” rally in Hilton Head, South Carolina. In China, meanwhile, worldwide sporting officials are discussing the impact an h-less world will have on hurdlers, high jumpers and heptathletes.
“Not since the conversion of hieroglyphics to letters and characters has language changed so dramatically—and never in such a short span of time,” said renowned linguist Herbert Higgeby (heretofore to be known as Erbert Iggeby). “The impact of the ‘h’ departure cannot be overstated. I’ve already received calls from leading chemists who are concerned about the implications on the periodic table of elements, particularly H (Hydrogen) and He (Helium).” Adding, “Even the fate of Valentine’s Day is unclear as ‘h’ leaves behind words like ‘honey’ and ‘sweetheart.’”
According to sources close to the letter— “g” and “i"— “h” has simply found a better place to be: the rear badging on Lexus hybrid vehicles—which distinguishes hybrid from nonhybrid models. The automaker, whose line of luxury hybrid vehicles includes the RX 400h, GS 450h and LS 600h L, has been at the forefront of alternative power train solutions and has had hybrid vehicles on the road since 2004. For “h,” this special badging represents an opportunity to live in a place that looks forward and believes in change.
Meanwhile, Lexus officials say the automaker will be addressing the disappearing “h” phenomenon in an ad campaign slated to break later today.
For additional information, visit www.thepowerofh.com.
*H’s have been temporarily re-introduced for your reading pleasure.
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